Why We Need a Rule of Life

Part 1 | Return to Developing a Rule of Life

Pre-meeting: Take inventory of how you use your time for three days in a row. Write down roughly what you do for each hour of the day. Be prepared to come with what you documented.

What is a Rule of Life, and why do we need one?

Our lives are full of habits that form us. A habit is a behavior that occurs automatically, over and over, and often unconsciously: we wake up and scroll Instagram, we get in the car and drive home without thinking twice, we get to a stoplight and check our messages. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that habits form much more than our schedules—they form our hearts. And so, like liturgies, these habits are actually quite central to our worship.

A rule of life is a schedule and set of practices and relational rhythms that help us create space in our busy world for us to be with Jesus, become like Jesus, and do what Jesus did—to live “to the full” (John 10:10) in his kingdom, and in alignment with our deepest passions and priorities. 

While the word “rule” may strike you as a strict or binding constraint, the Latin word we translate “rule” was originally the word for a trellis in a vineyard. In the same way a vine needs a trellis to lift it off the ground so it can bear the maximum amount of fruit and keep free of predators and diseases, we need a rule as a kind of support structure to organize our life around “abiding in the vine,” (John 15:1–8) as Jesus imagined. 

It’s been said that we achieve inner peace when our schedule is aligned with our values. A rule of life is simply a tool to that end. Rather than a rigid, legalistic to-do list, it’s a life-giving structure for freedom, growth, and joy. 

When we have no set of formational practices, we end up following those of our surrounding culture. Without bedrock habits of our own, we unwittingly abide by unspoken ways of life chosen by the contemporary western culture around us. Far from neutral, these practices can breed individualism, consumerism, vanity, and anger. In short, we are being formed in the worship of self, which isolates us from God and neighbor. If we want to be formed in the love of God and neighbor, we must take hold of our habits. 

Time management

In order to create a sustainable Rule of Life, we need to assess where we are starting. This resource helps you think about your time and your priorities. Often we go through life without thinking through what is really important, and waste precious time on things that aren’t worth it.

There are two variables when thinking about our time: important vs. not important, and urgent vs. not urgent. This may not seem like revolutionary insight, but it is unfortunate how much of our time we unknowingly (or sometimes knowingly) spend on things that are not important. Urgency is always the trump card in how we spend our time. We cannot get to things that are important and not urgent if we are constantly living in the urgent.

Take some time to look through these four quadrants. Everything we do falls into one of these categories. Examples of activities that could fall in each quadrant are given, and further explanations of each quadrant are listed below. 

• Quadrant 1 | Important, Urgent
  This quadrant is sometimes unavoidable, as life sometimes throws us a lemon or a curveball. However, many important activities become urgent because of our procrastination, or because we do not have adequate planning or prevention. This quadrant zaps your energy, creates tons of stress, and can have huge snowball effects for all of your time. 

• Quadrant 2 | Important, not urgent
  This is where we do our long-term planning, anticipate problems and prevent them, study ahead, broaden our minds, and increase our ability to adapt through self-development. This quadrant can increase your productivity in the long-run, minimize stress, and improve your immediate performance. This quadrant is perhaps the most essential in time management, but is often the most neglected. These activities are easily surrendered to those that are more urgent.

• Quadrant 3 | Not important, urgent
  These are activities that can seem important because of their urgency, but are really not. We have to learn to minimize these distractions and say “no” to them when necessary.

• Quadrant 4 | Not important, not urgent
  These are time-wasters. We all need time to refresh and relax, but those activities are important and do not belong in Quadrant 4. These hamper productivity and development. Often we spend time in Quadrant 4 if we spend too much time in the urgent. We “escape” from the urgent by going to this quadrant, instead of allowing Quadrant 2 to help prepare us and refresh us. This can be a dangerous cycle of living in the urgent, and escaping to Quadrant 4.

Look over your time inventory and place each of the things you did over your three days into the blank quadrants below. 

Reflection Questions

• Was there anything that surprised you when you took inventory of how you use your time?

• What are one or two things that you spend a lot of time doing that you could replace with something else as you begin to develop a rule of life?

• What is one activity that you know if you did superbly well and consistently would have significant positive results in your personal life?

• How about your professional/academic life?

Additional Resources

Developing a Rule of Life | Unhurried with a Rule of Life podcast by John Mark Comer

Part 1 | Return to Developing a Rule of Life